I've been busy!
For the people who have given me a hard time about not posting anything, I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR READING!
I've been crazy busy - in body and in mind.
I also have some big decisions to make soon, which is both completely terrifying and very exciting. Adult decisions.
I have a million things going through my head these days and I'm doing my best to stay relaxed and mindful.
What's funny is that it seems like everyone close to me is also going through changes right now. We're all on this wave. Some of us are struggling to stay afloat and some are surfing - but we're all together in this and we can help each other out with kindness and support.
What a metaphor eh?!
Change can be very hard but as I just ranted to Lauren - it's all about how you choose to view it. You can choose to see it as an opportunity or a challenge. With change comes growth, strength and experience. We wouldn't be who we are today without the changes that have happen this far, both big and small. Great things are going to happen to all of us.
My mind the last two week wasn't in the best place overall. I was feeling very stress, anxious, nervous and just exhausted. My body was feeling it too. I did my best to rest and reset myself and tried to force myself to make some big decisions. This was hard since I'm terrible at resting.
This week I've since decided to just go with the flow and let things happen as their supposed to, stay present and just do what feels right in each moment.
I have a habit in living in the past or in the future. I stress about what has happened - often feeling regretful and being hard on myself over my actions or how others actions have affected me. Or I'll set big expectations for myself and have been living in an "If... then.." mindset, hopefully thinking things like "if I move out, then I'll be happy", "if I find a guy, then I'll be happy", "if I lose weight, then I'll find a guy"... and then some of the really deep stuff like "if someone loves me, then I'll be good enough", "if I am successful, then I'll be good enough," and one that I have realized lately. Brace yourself. "If I can run the Boston Marathon, then I'll be good enough."
Yeah I said it.
Here's the thing though. I'm trying to get out of this mindset where I'm my own worst enemy, setting my own damn bar too high, where I am unhappy with myself and am constantly looking for things and people that will allow me to accept myself. This is a shitty way to live.
Life is changing and I'm going to change with it.
I'm going to be nice to myself and start to practice what I preach. For anyone but myself I believe it's nice to be nice, not to judge and to just BE KIND. So now I'm going to do that for myself. It weirdly feels selfish but I chose not to care. I'm going to do what makes me happy.
I used to! I used to a lot! - Wait sorry. That's living in the past. But this is what I'm going to do. Please hold me to this.
I realize I went this whole post without mentioning what has changed. I did this intentionally because these changes are still in the process and I'm just going to appreciate it every step of the way.
Stay tuned :)
Boom. There. A post!!