Friday Feels - August 8th
Hi gang! Happy Friday!
Sorry for the lack of feels the last couple Friday's.
I'll feel you up real good this time.....
Yes. I think I'm funny.
Holy moly I've been busy, let me tell you..... but actually not because if you know, you know and if you don't... well you'll have to wait and see!
I've been feeling really good this week though. REALLY good. Ever get that feeling like you know something good is going to happen? Like you know there's changes happening and you can practically feel the energy. That's how I feel! Like you know an adventure is coming. Plus a small pinch of anxiety.
What would you do if you weren't afraid, right??
Have you noticed I love Gifs? I hope you do too. If not, who are you?!
Marathon training is also going really well and if you're lazy as balls and are really feeling the Friday you can click HERE and get the latest update on my prep. The Okanagan Marathon is 58 days away!
And can you tell that I'm happy today, even through writing??
BACK TO THE FEELS....
I started mediating. That's a thing I do now. I HIGHLY recommend trying it. Start small for 1, 2, 3 mins and set an alarm so you aren't thinking about how much time has passed, get in a comfortable position, roll your shoulder blades back, take a couple deep breaths and then just try. Focus on your breath and how it feels in your body, notice your chest rising and the air circling inside yourself. If thoughts come up, acknowledge them and breath them away. JUST TRY IT.
I read this and it's absolutely incredible.
It will probably be one of my favorite books from now on. Honestly it's really good and NOT about running. It's about success in general - art, literature, music, relationships, work, sports, everything! I'm going to let my dad and Corrine read it and then I'll probably read it again because I took so much from it. There were so many "Huh!" moments where they would say things that just make complete sense. It blew my mind.
I've been house sitting up a storm this summer as well! Seriously one of my favorite things, especially when pets are involved. Right now I'm house + cat sitting and it's wonderful. I love cat cuddles... Or any cuddles. ANYWAYS the best part about where I'm cat sitting for the whole month of August is that it is exactly 2.1 km away from the lovely, beautiful, talented, hilarious, miss.......... (drum roll please).... Lauren Currie Leslie. We carpool when we can and it's the best thing ever. Her house is also on my running route. This house is also 2 km away from South Glenmore Park which made my 34 km run last Sunday a breeze! Or, as easy as running for 3 hours can be.
LETS TALK ABOUT FOOD
I am very happy and proud of myself to say that I no longer track food or count calories. This is big. There are some things I can't un-learn the calories of but I've honestly just stopped caring. I just want to enjoy food again and not stress about it. Yes, I still eat very healthy and I always will but now I eat to fuel and to nourish my body and I feel really great about it. Honestly. Carbs are a wonderful thing, and so are healthy fats. I am obsessed with oatmeal right now. I have it with chia seeds, hemp seeds, vanilla extract and loaded up with fruit. I have it every day. I'm really into good quality bread now too, especially if its really soft mmmmmm. Moist.
I'm just going to be honest and say that 2 weeks ago I back-tracked a little with my recovery and ended up restricting and purging. I wasn't in the greatest mental place at the time and wasn't acknowledging or respecting feelings that I was having. It happened, it is what it is but I wont let it completely pull me back from how far I've come. I'm not perfect. Far from it. And I'm learning to love my not-perfect self.... And bread. I'm doing my best at not stressing about things and being as wound up about myself. It's a wonderful feeling to give yourself a break. Another thing I recommend!
In the last couple weeks Facebook has reminded me of the ghosts of Kelsey's past... and let me just say before you scroll down a little further and see these pictures that yes, part of me misses this Kelsey and gets a little upset when I compare the ghosts of Kelsey present to her but I accept her as my past and appreciate what she did and how she's gotten me to where I am today. I almost deleted both pictures because I couldn't stand to look at myself in them, both with regret and disappointment but also with the slight sense of feeling triggered. Yes I miss those bones sticking out and (unfortunately cause guys are pigs) the attention that I got when I was at these weights, but you know what? I do NOT miss the fact that I hardly laughed at this weight because I was so numb and emotionless, I do NOT miss the fact that I was treated like an object by guys, I do NOT miss counting every calorie and obsessing over food and my appearance. Even now I remember exactly what I ate on these days and the days before them because I was trying so hard to look this way in a bikini. I am so happy for these memories and it's a reminder of how far I've come and that is something I'm very proud of.
Sometimes I think I would like to go back and start it all over and stop myself from becoming disordered ,but then I remember that every action, wrong turn, heart break and decision I've made in my life has gotten me to where I am today and although it was a bumpy ride, it's MY ride and I'm going to own it. So shove it, ghost of Kelsey's past.
What else is new.... hmmm
I'm featured in the Athlete News section of The Athlete Factory's News Letter
Nothing new in my love life.. except bread
Lauren and I have remembered how amazing Winnie The Pooh is and how there are some incredible quotes and lessons in that show. *please Google Winnie The Pooh quotes right now* Does anyone have the complete series of Winnie the Pooh?? Honestly we want to binge watch it.
OH. Anyone want to train for a half marathon or marathon?? Like legit. I've decide to become a certified running coach. I'm going to take the course and as part of it I have to coach someone...... soo.... honestly if you're interested let me know. I swear I'd be a good coach.
AND what do we think of my new blog layout? Pretty fancy eh? I like it a lot. Now if I could just remember and have time to write on this thing that would be ideal. But I was really feeling the love when people noticed I wasn't posting and I hadn't done a Friday Feels in a while.
Y'all are great. Thank you so much for reading.
What I'm Proud Of:
- LAUREN!! YOU ARE EFFING INCREDIBLE AND I LOVE YOU AND THINK YOU ARE COMPLETELY AMAZING. I am very proud of you for basically everything you do but also just lately
- Telling the ghost of Kelsey past to shove it but also appreciating my journey
- Kailey and Brad for finding eachother
- Alex for being unapologetically Alex and for being the most interesting person I know
- Megan for following her journey
- Staying positive
- Being open to change and letting go of control
- Relaxing and having fun
- TALKING ABOUT THE FEELS
What I'm Grateful For:
- Lauren and Iris - Crowfoot in general. Megs - I miss you already.
- My family. All of it! Beamish's, Doyle's, Haslam's, Springstead's, Jewel's. And family that isn't family but basically is family. I truly love all of you so much.
- Miss Kimberley Angela Scholtens
- All the changes life is presenting me with
- My ability to run
- Everyone reading this
Again, happy Friday. Have a wonderful weekend!