I can 100% say that at this moment, I HATE my body and I am so frustrated.
I cannot look at myself in the mirror without picking everything apart. I look terrible, I can't stand that I gained weight. Everything is bigger, but I don't really understand why, my skin is breaking out like it did when I was in high school and so incredibly self-conscious.
I eat more than I used to but not by that much, and certainly no where near the 1500 calories that's recommended, so why the F am I gaining so much weight?! I'm also running SO much more than I ever used to (70 - 100 kms a week) so I don't understand why this is happening.
I don't wish I was incredibly skinny like I used to be, but I want to be strong and fit but my body has a mind of his own.
I want to eat because I know I need the fuel and because food is good but being so unhappy and uncomfortable in my skin and feeling like I'm gaining so much weight is really discouraging.
Am I having crazy inflammation from all this running? Is it my motabolism? Is it my already messed up hormones? Am I just getting fat?
I'm so frustrated!!!